You wake up, brush your tee -- wait, you don't have tooth paste. Skip that. You take a show -- wait, you haven't paid the water bill. Skip that. You see the time ... you're late for work! Duh duh duhhhh! You might as well stay home since you know the train's gonna take forever, but you're going anyways because you're hoping your boss at least gives you an A for effort.

Little did you know, my child, it was a Saturday. And in SFD City, every Saturday is "Murder Day" -- the second best holiday right before Christmas and right after "Kill-Somebody Day" (which is every Monday through Friday -- Sunday's a holy day). Being late is gonna be the least of your worries.